Finding a Fiduciary: What to Look Out for
Why I Left My Big Firm—And Why It Matters to Your Family
A weeks months ago, water started leaking through my ceiling during a heavy rainstorm. Roof damage. I had four different roofers come out.
The first guy stepped on my roof, squinted at the shingles, frowned, and started listing everything wrong. “This whole section’s toast. Honestly, you should just replace the whole thing.” No real questions. No discussion. Just doom.
The third roofer was different. He asked where exactly the leak showed up. Walked the roof slowly. Asked about our long-term plans. Then showed me three options. One of them? A small, targeted repair. It cost me 5% of what a full roof replacement would’ve run—and it worked. The leak stopped.
Guess who I’ll call when it’s time for a full replacement?
That third roofer.
Because he wasn’t trying to win the sale. He was earning trust.
And that’s what working with a real fiduciary is supposed to feel like.
The Financial Industry Is Built to Scale—Not to Serve
Most big financial firms work like that first roofer. They drop you into a funnel, run you through a model, and deliver a cookie-cutter solution—often with a full-on sales pitch.
What they rarely do?
Ask the right questions.
Offer flexible options.
Work with you based on your actual goals—not their quarterly targets.
I left a firm like that to build something better. And if you’re in your 40s or 50s, with real complexity building in your financial life, it’s time to understand the difference.
Red Flags to Watch For When Hiring a “Fiduciary”
The word “fiduciary” gets thrown around a lot these days. But not all fiduciaries walk the talk. Here are a few warning signs from someone who’s been on the inside:
- They won’t work with you unless you hand over all your accounts immediately.
Control shouldn’t be the price of admission. A real fiduciary helps you make smart decisions—not force you into a one-size-fits-all box. - They resist working on a flat-fee or project basis.
Not everyone is ready for full-blown asset management. You should be able to engage for planning before committing your life savings. - They focus more on your assets than your actual life.
You’re not a spreadsheet. If your advisor doesn’t know your kid’s names or what keeps you up at night—they don’t know enough.
The Real Decision Isn’t Fee vs. No Fee—It’s Relationship vs. Robot
It’s never been easier or cheaper to invest. Zero commissions. Fractional shares. Index funds. Robo-advisors.
But let’s be honest: Access isn’t the issue anymore.
The real question is: What kind of relationship do you want to have with your money—and who’s guiding that conversation?
Here’s the truth most people miss:
- Robo-advisors and big 401(k)s are cheap, but generic. Great when life is calm. Not so great in a crisis.
- DIY investors have control and customization—but often lack the behavioral guardrails and big-picture plan.
- Old-school advisors often offer service—but at the cost of control, customization, or clarity.
So what's the better model?
The Sweet Spot: Clarity, Control, and a Human You Trust
The right advisor relationship is a blend:
- Customization: Your plan reflects your actual goals—not just your account balances.
- Collaboration: You don’t get “sold to.” You get guided.
- Control: You retain authority over your money. We just make it easier to steward.
Yes, you pay for that. But you’re not paying for a portfolio.
You’re paying for peace of mind.
For a sounding board when life changes.
For advice built just for you.
Bottom Line
If you're in retirement, life should be simple: family, hobbies, travel. You deserve a relationship with an advisor who treats that complexity with care—not as a sales opportunity.
That’s why I left my big firm.
And it’s why families like yours now trust me to be their financial roof—not just the sales rep pushing one.
